Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

Chimes


Searching,

For the right words,

The right verbs,

And herds of ambition,

Without bringing on superstition.

In my vision,

I still have no beginning,

Haven’t felt like I was winning,

Since the days I was still in,

High school.

For that shit I was too cool,

Guess that’s why I’m not now,

Just another name to be forgot,

Let that happen to me?

I will not.

Can you imagine that though?

No place to call home,

No one blowing up your phone,

No expression to moan,

To somebody,

Just a nobody,

Well,

A taken for granted body,

Embodied by a soul,

With a sense of direction,

That’s has yet to take hold,

I was told,

“You’ll regret those decisions when you’re old.”

That’s gold.

Now I’m beaten,

Battered,

But bold.

Although not yet sold,

On any one path,

I will blast through the aftermath,

As I lay to rest the rest of my breath,

It seems I’m a bit short in fact,

It won’t last,

This panic attack,

It’s not back,

Just relax,

Take a deep,

Dive into another ride through the spirals of your mind,

Wanna get known?

Find the rhymes,

Find the chimes,

Find the…time.

No one has enough,

When we loose one another,

A sister or a brother,

Father or a mother,

All we seem to be able to do is just wonder,

Was I there enough?

Speak to them enough?

Show them that we care?

Enough.

No sad sulking tears,

No,

Not for the loved ones,

But our fears,

As we drown the mounds of our frowns,

And lay to rest the people we miss now,

We may start to hear sounds,

Its them speaking,

Telling us to stop drinking,

Do more thinking,

“You’ll find that beginning.”

I can still hear,

The ones we love and miss so dear,

They feel so near,

Maybe I’m in the wrong gear,

Need to shift,

Perspectives,

I’m invested,

I’ve Ingested,

Many maddening motivations,

Molded by monopolized,

People,

Ones talked about too much.

Maybe I’m too stuck,

On the girl I want to fuck,

And the thoughts I try to duck.

But I’m in luck,

With such a wonderful view,

I’m up to nothing that’s new,

But now this poem is quite…

Through.


NV. – written on June 20th, 2018 started @ 9:57 p.m. finished @ 10:30 p.m.

Just found myself in unable to obtain something truly wanted. Dealing with the fatigue of wonder and regret, not for anything major, but some small decisions that led to an inability to obtain said thing, with is more of an experience than a thing, but that’s irrelevant at this point. Just, take it from me, try to set goals you can obtain, don’t lead yourself into temptations that are inaccessible obligations. It can lead to this thing we call disappointment, I like to think of it as, failure to achieve expectations. But this is where I shall contradict myself, I try to not dwell or let my mind contract any, misleading, sad, obstructing or unsatisfactory feelings, thoughts or emotions. This is almost impossible for anyone of course, but in this case, I’m a bit caught up in mental states I’d rather feel the comfort in being able to overcome, but I can’t. I’m bummed, disappointed and have found a lack of achievement towards an expected experience…this poem is the result of me trying to put that…mindset into words. I suppose besides explaining here, but I don’t think I was aware of all of this until after the poem, funny how expression brings us closer to our problems and solutions…have a nice day. – S.F.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Rant #2 – with context deal at the end


Terrible timing for the timeline lighting the way towards the dreams we’ve been hiding,
Hide away from the thoughts that are keeping us from shining,
Shine bright through the night as you stay awake without trying,
Try imagining the life that keeps you constantly smiling,

Need a little hope, then turn away from the wrong kind,
Of people and places draining the good parts of your mind,
Theres a message in the passage to the parts that you cant find,
And a way to the goals in this world thats been pre designed.

We can exist with one another and let the moments simply slip by,
Feeling nothing that is wanted but simpley accepting what is felt right,
Living for nothing more than what we experience will be just fine,
Giving in to all that flows and comes to mind in this tickle of time.

We may ramble, stumble or fall into our ideas, goals and dreams,
Talk for fifteen hours straight with nothing to pressure how it seems,
We can figure out something new or realize the past or scream,
But after all is said and done, we can all become everything.


NV. – written sometime between April 15th, 2018 and May 6th, 210 @ 11:20 p.m.

Uhh, not a whole lot to say about this one, it may speak for itself to some, other it might not. Im not sure if it even speaks to me yet, I wrote the dang piece of words and lines. But yet, it seems distant to me, anywho. This is a rant but done with rhymes I suppose, Im no expert in using the English format of communication to express ones internal feelings or thoughts or beings that happen sometimes…uhh but, Id like to say that I do enjoy exsisting with others, letting life flow without paying attention to the way others think it should or shouldn’t. Appreciating and accepting who ever may be gifting me with there presence and thus try to elevate eachother in anyway. Let that be through sit down conversations, walks and talks, musical jam sessions(limited to ones experience and time spent with available instruments), outdoor activities, what im getting at is that your life and my own can be open to anything and everything. We can become, experience and live how ever we’d like and I think thats beautiful. Too long and frequent do we pay our attention to distractions, delusions and drama, when in reality the more you that you are you and the less like others you spend time observing, the more you will find that we are all one in the same, just at different stages, places, and parts of our own story lines. But that doesnt mean we have to oppose one another for those differences, its ok to accept someone for who they are regaurdless of what they seem like. Its tough to do at time but I can assure you that in this context…that little thing will open your life up a bit, allowing you to be what is you seek or see what you dream. Thanks for being here, hope you share a comment or question if you are still here with this train of my conciousness. -SF.


Poem things

Bar Ballad


To all my friends
Those near and far
Why must we spend time
Close to the bar

If I’m to meet you
To drink and chat
Can you just invite me
It’s as simple as that

We’ve all grown so torn
From the ways we’re brought up
That it seems so unthought of
To offer a cup

Id drink beer with you
Who ever you are
Just spend time with me
We’ll speak to the stars

One on one’s not so bad
When you give it a shot
Don’t prejudge too much
You might like it a lot

People seem so uncertain
To spend time alone
Rather be quite consumed
Rather sit on their phone

I can relate to that much
Ill admit that all day
But give us a chance
To bring good times your way

As time grows much faster
we find things to do
keep in mind your friends
The ones that matter to you

You might never find
The times you could spend
Going over your goals
Finding a means to the ends

So tip a beer their way
If you have time to talk
We’d be happy to sit here
Or take a long walk

No time to cherish
Nothing important to do
I can find my way there
Get closer to you

At the end of the day
It is easy to see
All the people we know
Want to be free

Free from concern
And all that brings hate
You can drink one on me
Make the pain disapate

The nights will grow long
Like the lines of this poem
Just remember your past
Remember your home

Invite us along
The friends you think of
When you’re drinking alone
Dont make it too tough

We will be here for you
To drink four or five
Help you forget
Or feel alive

So be open to time
The kind spent with friends
You never know when its time
Time for the end


NV. – Written on March 30th, 2018 started @ 1:57 a.m. finished @ 10:20 a.m.