Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

6 feet deep

I watched my sister mourn an ex that over dosed,
My father cry when his own mother croaked,
Watched my mother too when her father died after loosing the woman that he loved the most,
I also lost a sister to epilepsy, that shit is fucked up,
She’s was all alone, found naked in her bath tub.
Before all that I lost an uncle that would change my mom forever,
Loosing her brother first when she thought she’d never,
Ever have to spread his ashes farther than his love had casted.
I’m just reacting to the retracting of my memories.
So many memories of all of those who were meant to be,
Alive right now even though there are no remedies,
For the pain of loss and death that has forsaken me.
Just let me replace the bodies that were taken all too soon,
Let me be the face up in that bright old moon.
Looking down upon all of those who have been hurting too.
Those thinking about the ones they’ve lost,
Thinking about the memories you’ve tried to toss,
While search for a simple way to smile,
Maybe if we fake it our cheeks might hold up a while,
Get us down that god damn road another meaningless mile.
While acting wild and riled up to take a crack at happiness,
But if we’re redirecting our minds away from
death and sadness,
Id rather slip and fall into a pit of madness,
Loose my faith in life and love,
Like a dirty rotten mattress,
With a mistress that’s been laughed at.
Because,
All these deaths are haunting me,
As I think it should be me,
6 feet underneath the dirt below my knees.

SF – written on December 17th, 2018 @ 10 a.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Rope


This is to all you privileged,

Self righteous faceless fuckers,

Never have known seldomness,

Never have had a helpless mother.

Or an unsuccessful father,

From a family that’s a bother,

Without money for our problems.

We never had a way to stop them,

Payments after payments,

Do you know what day to day is?


They all say “I’m so alone”,

Yet you sit and stare straight at your phones,

Full of people that you chose,

Nah, you don’t even fucking know,

I bet they’ve never been this low.

Take a look at all my limbs,

All you’ll see are scars and broken bones.

From where I have had to go,

The limits of my patience,

And all the damage I now know.


You don’t wanna know what’s it’s like,

To have to re erase your soul,

Over and over again,

Changing faces as you go,

Never knowing who you’ve been,

Who you should be,

Or if you’ll ever have some kin.

Always feeling unimportant,

And as if you’ll never quite fit in.

If only I could find my ending,

But that’s simply where it will all begin.


Now I hear everyone may be feeling insane,

Still they all know growth and gains,

Never felt full of real sick shame,

Still it’s my kind of people who get the blame,

We may all have a heritage,

But some of us have no names.

No fortune and no fame,

Less opportunistic change,

More redirected rage,

Our society is nothing more than a corporately constructed cage.

Built on laws and governments that are simply meant to take,

All its citizens hopes and dreams,

Monetary values and everything in between.


I bet all of you have had some help,

Probably never really hurt,

Never screamed and never yelled,

For more than materials or your wealth,

Always had a sense of love,

From any one of the beings up above,

Yeah, they’ve never had it rough.

Always had just enough.

What happens when hope takes off its gloves,

Smacks you right across your face,

And asks, “how’s it feel to forget love, never have anything to dream of?”


Have you ever actually been homeless,

Or hopeless,

Remotely contained,

Or throat less,

Had no voice to portray,

Or not felt,

But actually been worthless?

I was told life is game,

That makes me feel lifeless.

As if it’s something to be tamed,

What a joke,

It’s meant for those rich,

And those famed.


So when you sit there,

Do nothing but assume,

As if you could even have a clue,

Don’t begin to think you will understand,

Any of the feelings that I’ve been through,

Or what I have had to do.

Everybody’s life is little different,

And I wish that mine would just end soon.

Take me out of the gutters that I’ve construed.

Away from the problems that I’ve been glued to,

And all the situations that I can’t seem to get through,

Unlike the drugs and alcohol that I so habitually find ways to consume,

As if they can settle my symptoms,

And make my mind feel new,

As if I can drunkenly just pick and choose,

Motivations and places to not be riddled the fool,

This life it just gets to me,

So now I’ll enter the rope.


SF – written between August 10th and September 4th, 2018

Poem things, Unfinished songs

D.T.B.D


I don’t ever wanna let you down,
Never wanna see that frown,
Never wanna here those sounds,
That you make,
When you’re feeling a bit too crazy,
Maybe,
There are parts to our story,
That need,
A little readdressing,
That’s all,
I’m sure,
We can make this thing last all night,
Make all the little wrongs,
Feel so right,
And we can never get washed up,
Or beat down,
Never let this old,
Sad town,
Feel like our only homely,
Place to,
Eventually break out,
And be found,
No way,
Not now.

And I don’t ever wanna let you down,
Never wanna see that frown,
Never wanna here those sounds,
That you make to,
When you’re feeling a little angry,
I see,
That we can get a little caught up,
In steam,
Feeling like we can’t be heard,
Or seen,
It’s a little bit like a bad dream,
I mean,
That I don’t want it to be,
The only parts of our memories,
That bleed,
Into our consciousness,
When we,
Begin to seem as if we aren’t there,
Or free,
From our disconnections,
And envy,
Now please,
Here me,

Because.

I don’t ever wanna let you down,
Never wanna see that frown,
Never wanna here those sounds,
That you make to me.
When you feel a little bit too crazy,
Or we get a little bit too angry,
It’s all just a little day time,
Bad dream.
Just a little day time bad dream.


NV. Written on July 20th, 2018 started @ 5:37 p.m. finished @ 6:12 p.m.

Wish I could put music behind this, but I lack the talent and resources required to do it on my own and connections for collaboration, for now it sits as this, like many incomplete ideas and creations. Thank you for reading or singing in your head, it’s a work in progress, for the future I hope. -SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Rant #3 – Growing

Enter,
Growing daily like my peppers,
Send her,
Back to the beginning,
Where you met her,
Never,
Let that be true,
Because you,
Know it would be too,
Cruel,
Fool,
Step into position,
Then you rule,
School,
Dropped out because I couldn’t chew,
Threw,
All the repercussions,
That I knew,
To,
Be coming my way,
One day,
Changed,
I did not want to pay my way,
To an education,
That I did not see great,
They said,
“Please participate”,
“Study, it’s okay”,
I say,
No way,
Here I am today,
No papers to validate,
The thing that I contemplate,
Great,
If not for the world,
Then what is it all for,
Doors,
Open them all,
Or you’ll choke on your,
Ability to evaluate,
What you intended to reciprocate,
In the first place,
Close all the doors,
After you swallow their lore,
It’s something to adore,
Not a chore,
War,
Or bore,
That to you,
I can assure.


NV. – written on July 9, 2018 started @ 6:42 p.m. finished @ 7:09 p.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

Contemplating Comfort

Seeing comfort and carelessness,
Caress anxiety and impression-less,
Situations that fill the rest,
Of an empty mess,
In a burial ground,
For thoughts in test,
Or times to bless,
So that we forget less.

But what’s to blame,
Is the my last name,
The games we played,
The towns we tamed,
The nights we raid,
The sounds un-sang,
One way or another,
We both get payed,
Or laid,
By the grief and satisfaction,
In the moments of our reactions.

When we blast back,
To see our backpack,
Of problems and potential,
To see how essential,
It is to manage your mind,
Appreciate your time,
And sustain the relatable,
Undebatable creational,
Representation,
Of your self and more.

It is easy to loose yourself,
In the lonliness of openness,
Or the helplessness,
Of pretentiousness,
For its a bottomless chest,
Filled with the unimpressed,
Zest-less messed with,
Undefined guessing,
Designed for undressing,
Molten memories,
Masked for mistaking.

Its all a changing,
Sightless and hopelessly,
Forgetful happening,
That is beginning to exsist with me,
Even though we’re divided clean,
My thoughts are still tormenting,
As I’m told to be expressingly,
Open to anything,
As if reality has found a seam,
To the dimensions of my dreams.

Now caught in a scene,
An acted misery,
Or a faithful blistering,
Battle with what i mean,
As i write these dreadful pleas,
To contract a little glee,
Now I’m free,
As i enter the limiting,
End to simple deeds,
This is me,
Expressing whole heartedly,
Investing all my needs,
In art and poetry.


NV. – written on July 8th-9th, 2018 started @ 9:47 p.m. on the 8th, re-visited and finished on the 9th from 3:57-4:46 p.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

The Songbird Sings


As the songbird sings,
Her notes so high,
It feels like I could fly,
While the seconds pass by.

As the songbird sings,
Her tune will last,
With a visual cast,
Diminishing moments past.

As the songbird sings,
Her melodies are found,
Through the sweet subtle sound,
Of the songbirds bounds.

As the songbird sings,
Her songs express so free,
That relaxation caresses me,
As the songbirds sings,
So happily from her tree.


NV. – written on July 9th, 2018 started @ 1:47 p.m. finished @ 2:32 p.m.

A bird singing its song was a bit overwhelming, so I distracted myself with a bit of poetry, hope you enjoy. feel free to leave a like, comment or even follow the blog if you happen to wnjoy this. be sure to scroll down and check out some other words I’ve put together. Thanks 🙂 -SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Pipe Dreams


I have become molded by mistakes,
misevaluate heartaches,
And mundane smoke breaks,
Find my peace in the moments I take,
From finding passions,
To accepting madness,
How’d this happen?
Can’t blame my mattress,
For all the sleep I’ve been lacking,
Cant fall into my pipe dream,
Roll another joint,
And the bong,
Keep on packing,
That’ll help me,
Got a little stoned,
Now the sounds aren’t so saddening,
Just keep on tapping,
Into the beliefs that will serve thee,
End all the misery please,
It does not help me.
It is the pipe dreams that I set free,
That simply feed the lovely lightning,
Cracking down my splintered spine,
From the demanding depths of my mind,
It just takes time,
This I know,
It’s damn near my human right,
To try and fight the weaker parts of life,
Then take flight,
As I relight my pipe,
Reimagine grief and spite,
Into better insight,
This feels just right,
Tickling the terrors of the night,
So they can no longer take mine,
Building barriers to the breaking,
Banishing,
Berating,
Bullshit brainwashed battering,
Bountifully blasted back,
As we tell the predecessor,
My thoughts,
I will not take those attacks,
No longer will I be the aftermath,
Of a mind that couldn’t take crap,
Or a being that has met his cap,
Need to relax,
Take a toke,
No,
That’s a joke,
Need to tie this mind up,
Choke,
I am broke,
But no longer alone,
Seem to have woke,
From the discussion I wrote,
These aren’t poems,
They are prayers,
They are promises,
Ode to John Denver,
I hope to not stop this,
Gather momentum,
Motivation,
And match this,
Life with the greatest,
The famous,
The ones who made it,
For changes,
For greatness,
For blameless,
Gratification and satisfaction,
That is the situation,
Going to follow these pipe dreams,
Until I find what I need,
In this life that I lead,
I’ll find what I need,
In the depths of my pipe dreams.


NV. – written on July 8th, 2018 started @ 3:22 p.m. finished @ 4:24 p.m.Just a little nonsensical rhyming, please share a like, follow or even share this shit, I’d appreciate it 🙂 – SF.

Poem things

Dreaming


We are going to dream,
We,
Are,
Going,
To,
Dream,
Do you know what that means?
You can’t riddle us,
You can distract us,
Still you’ll hear our pleas,
Now repeat this please.
“We are going to dream.”
Dream of new days,
New ways,
Places to stay,
Thoughts to display,
Thinking of dreaming my whole life away.
Because it’s hard to resist the things in mist,
The fog of our minds,
Dreams left a little blind,
The ones we leave behind,
When forging ourselves,
In the moments we must put our dreams on shelves,
Live in the system,
Rewrite our life’s list then,
Be one of the nobody’s,
No,
No,
No,
Repeat after me please,
“We are going to dream.”
Regardless of what that means,
Because every single one of us,
Can never get enough,
Can you feel the lust?
Keep dreaming,
Especially when life gets rough.
When you feel no love,
Feel no one up above,
Keep dreaming,
Keep believing,
Keep on being.
It’s all we need,
Just a little dreaming…


NV. – written on July 8th, 2018 started @ 10:47 a.m. finished @ 12:29 p.m.

Please feel free to follow the blog if you like the post, it’s appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

Convoluted Contemplation


Feeling like a freak,

A fiend,

A founder of foolish fantasies,

The type that typically tremble,

Under my own tormented testimony,

Testifying against my own will,

My own goals,

My own home,

My whole role,

It’s all a cold,

Convoluted,

Concentrated,

Congregated,

Compilation of complications,

Yet it’s not contemplated,

It’s the way I was made,

And that can be hurtful or hated,

But never doubtfully debated,

I can take it.

Turn me around,

Roast my town,

Flip the frowns,

Now make ‘em proud,

To be heard loud,

With this sad sound,

I can feel it right now,

But that’s not what this is about.

It’s about problematic insight,

Memories kept sealed tight,

Ideas that don’t feel quite right,

The type of nights,

Filled with fear and flights,

Inside the mind,

I hate those types,

But what would life be without the fight?

Can only dream to have it easy,

Even though I’m supported,

A better life is always teasing,

For those who can afford it,

But I don’t own shit,

Have a place with no floor,

And a ceiling that leaks,

Going hungry for weeks,

To try and repeat my grief,

Now I’m falling back asleep,

Just to relive my dreams,

It would seem,

I’m bit far off from my meaning,

Yet these words keep on seeking,

A little bit more sound releasing,

From the parts of me that are speaking,

It’s not about just believing,

In a better part of you,

The part meant for keeping,

It’s about finding the reason,

Repeating the problems,

Until hope stops the bleeding,

You can be free,

From all that’s inhibiting,

Your growth and your dreams,

Just follow their lead.


NV. – written on June 27th, 2018 started @ 9:02 a.m. finished @ 9:29 a.m.

No context, feel like this one speaks for itself. – SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Mad Libs

Residing within our contemplations,

Reminiscing during conversations,

Congregations,

Can’t contain the situations,

Salivating over somber intuition,

While on a conquest towards inhibition,

Are these introverted individual indecision’s?

Maybe convoluted convenient corrections,

Cursing the sadness left behind during madness.

Madness,

Now it’s the last thing on my list,

Madness,

Seems a whole lot like mad libs,

Filling empty spaces with random combinations,

Of funny things to envision.

Now I’m fishing,

For deeper thoughts,

Longer talks,

Sunset walks,

Anything to choke down my faults.

Madness,

It’s about damn time we end this,

Madness,

Don’t know how this happened,

But I’m glad I had it,

Over turned it’s status,

Now our madness,

Is encased within happiness.

NV. – June 16th, 2018 started @ 9:30 p.m. finished @ 9:50 p.m.

You’ve just got to believe in what matters most to you sometimes. All that is meant to be will be and that is beauty at its finest, let the bad be bad, the good be great and participate in anything that makes you feel just as amazing as the feelings you’re searching for. Take care. – SF.