Poem things

A Little Lost

I’m still thinking about all the shit we’ve been through,

Although seeing you is no longer a truth,

I was trapped in my thoughts,

Too high to be committed,

To all the thing I’ll be missing,

Couldn’t settle down or just fucking listen,

Had a temper that lasted only a minute,

Only a minute.

Being too focused on living in the moment,

Caused me to look past the love I should have been showing,

I was living slow but that’s no reason to talk shit,

All those mistakes are really making me feel sick,

Making me feel sick now.

You were the one but I treated you wrong,

Had way too big of a head,

Now I’m just singing sad songs,

Couldn’t give you what was yours all along,

A little bit of space,

Or all of my time,

Now instead of holding you,

I’ll be holding these rhymes.

Maybe I’m all wrong and these aren’t the facts,

But I had you first while you had my heart last,

Treated you like shit,

Pulled you out of your class,

Made myself look like a total ass,

But what it means now is that I’m hitting the gas,

Running 2,000 miles away to forget the past.

To try and forget the past.

Yet it’s all right here with me,

There’s no way to escape,

I still think about the times that were all really great,

It might be a joke or pathetic at least,

But holding on to them is my only form of release.

Nothing I can do will bring me back to you,

You put up a wall after all of those fights,

Told me not to call,

Probably blocked me too,

But when it’s all said and done I’m still in love with you,

Still in love with your smile and the way you’d look through,

Most of my faults or the wrongs I would do,

Now it’s up to you to see that my hate wasn’t true,

It was just a reaction to when I was loosing you,

When I was loosing you.

SF – 09-06-2019 @ 6:00 a.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Problems


I see that everyone has problems,

That’s not the problem, see,

How am I supposed to feel sympathetically,

When I’m involved with a blinding,

Overwhelming consistency,

Of underwhelming contingencies.

Oh it’s easy, “get therapy”,

As if paying for help is worth more than a friend who will listen for free.

Who the hell wants to listen to me,

Everyone has problems,

That’s not the problem, see,

I try to imagine my mind living happily,

But it’s just stays still in progression,

And runs wild through regressions.

So what’s the point in another session,

If I will have nothing to mention.

Everyone has problems,

That’s not the problem, see,

I can’t make every conversation about me,

Everyone has an issue to share,

Or a memory to bear,

And in those moments we truly can care.

Yet it’s the time spent alone,

That makes life feel completely unfair.

If only we had a way to feel a little less scared.


SF – written on Dec. 18th, 2018 @ 4:30 p.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Do or Die


What do we do,

When we recognize our failures,

Sink into the un true,

And see all of our stale years?

People say to persevere,

Overcome the problems,

That’s all I ever hear,

Yet still find no way to stop them.

Bad habits and reputations,

Digging holes and feeling useless,

Can become a situation,

Even if you never choose it.

What do we do,

When we become what we shouldn’t,

Forget so much too,

And recognize what we couldn’t?

Do we pick ourselves back up,

Follow through with all our dreams,

What happens when things get tough,

And depression is bursting out your seams?

I don’t know about you,

I can only speak for I,

But when it’s pain that you’ve been through,

Life becomes do or die.


NV. – written on 8-11-18

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

Controlled


We the people will learn,

Find new ways to earn.

Live by our own standards,

Not be controlled by you bastards.

A distraction for this,

Here, read down the list.

A distraction for that,

Like is fucking roulette.

So many forms of subliminal messaging,

Soon enough there will be a reckoning.

If they built an illusion of choice,

Then we are here to make some noise.

Massacres in mind blowing numbers,

You’d think we’d be encumbered.

To many problems with our history,

That they just erase thing off the lists you read.

Let’s manipulate the many rates,

Suppress us until we complicate,

The better parts of the system,

The one we all live in.

We can change the future,

But when you try they shoot ya.

One country,

Any love, see?

Wanna run?

Your inability has only just begun.

More ways to stack debts,

That ways to cash checks.

That’s a mess,

Controlling us likes it’s fucking chess.

I won’t have it,

Can no longer stand it.

I demand to see change,

In this place I was made.

Didn’t choose to be here,

But I see that it fears,

A little mental expression,

Now come and try your repression.


NV. – started sometime in May of 2018, finished @ 11:01 p.m. on June 20th, 2018.

This is America.