Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Pipe Dreams


I have become molded by mistakes,
misevaluate heartaches,
And mundane smoke breaks,
Find my peace in the moments I take,
From finding passions,
To accepting madness,
How’d this happen?
Can’t blame my mattress,
For all the sleep I’ve been lacking,
Cant fall into my pipe dream,
Roll another joint,
And the bong,
Keep on packing,
That’ll help me,
Got a little stoned,
Now the sounds aren’t so saddening,
Just keep on tapping,
Into the beliefs that will serve thee,
End all the misery please,
It does not help me.
It is the pipe dreams that I set free,
That simply feed the lovely lightning,
Cracking down my splintered spine,
From the demanding depths of my mind,
It just takes time,
This I know,
It’s damn near my human right,
To try and fight the weaker parts of life,
Then take flight,
As I relight my pipe,
Reimagine grief and spite,
Into better insight,
This feels just right,
Tickling the terrors of the night,
So they can no longer take mine,
Building barriers to the breaking,
Banishing,
Berating,
Bullshit brainwashed battering,
Bountifully blasted back,
As we tell the predecessor,
My thoughts,
I will not take those attacks,
No longer will I be the aftermath,
Of a mind that couldn’t take crap,
Or a being that has met his cap,
Need to relax,
Take a toke,
No,
That’s a joke,
Need to tie this mind up,
Choke,
I am broke,
But no longer alone,
Seem to have woke,
From the discussion I wrote,
These aren’t poems,
They are prayers,
They are promises,
Ode to John Denver,
I hope to not stop this,
Gather momentum,
Motivation,
And match this,
Life with the greatest,
The famous,
The ones who made it,
For changes,
For greatness,
For blameless,
Gratification and satisfaction,
That is the situation,
Going to follow these pipe dreams,
Until I find what I need,
In this life that I lead,
I’ll find what I need,
In the depths of my pipe dreams.


NV. – written on July 8th, 2018 started @ 3:22 p.m. finished @ 4:24 p.m.Just a little nonsensical rhyming, please share a like, follow or even share this shit, I’d appreciate it 🙂 – SF.

Poem things

Dreaming


We are going to dream,
We,
Are,
Going,
To,
Dream,
Do you know what that means?
You can’t riddle us,
You can distract us,
Still you’ll hear our pleas,
Now repeat this please.
“We are going to dream.”
Dream of new days,
New ways,
Places to stay,
Thoughts to display,
Thinking of dreaming my whole life away.
Because it’s hard to resist the things in mist,
The fog of our minds,
Dreams left a little blind,
The ones we leave behind,
When forging ourselves,
In the moments we must put our dreams on shelves,
Live in the system,
Rewrite our life’s list then,
Be one of the nobody’s,
No,
No,
No,
Repeat after me please,
“We are going to dream.”
Regardless of what that means,
Because every single one of us,
Can never get enough,
Can you feel the lust?
Keep dreaming,
Especially when life gets rough.
When you feel no love,
Feel no one up above,
Keep dreaming,
Keep believing,
Keep on being.
It’s all we need,
Just a little dreaming…


NV. – written on July 8th, 2018 started @ 10:47 a.m. finished @ 12:29 p.m.

Please feel free to follow the blog if you like the post, it’s appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

Convoluted Contemplation


Feeling like a freak,

A fiend,

A founder of foolish fantasies,

The type that typically tremble,

Under my own tormented testimony,

Testifying against my own will,

My own goals,

My own home,

My whole role,

It’s all a cold,

Convoluted,

Concentrated,

Congregated,

Compilation of complications,

Yet it’s not contemplated,

It’s the way I was made,

And that can be hurtful or hated,

But never doubtfully debated,

I can take it.

Turn me around,

Roast my town,

Flip the frowns,

Now make ‘em proud,

To be heard loud,

With this sad sound,

I can feel it right now,

But that’s not what this is about.

It’s about problematic insight,

Memories kept sealed tight,

Ideas that don’t feel quite right,

The type of nights,

Filled with fear and flights,

Inside the mind,

I hate those types,

But what would life be without the fight?

Can only dream to have it easy,

Even though I’m supported,

A better life is always teasing,

For those who can afford it,

But I don’t own shit,

Have a place with no floor,

And a ceiling that leaks,

Going hungry for weeks,

To try and repeat my grief,

Now I’m falling back asleep,

Just to relive my dreams,

It would seem,

I’m bit far off from my meaning,

Yet these words keep on seeking,

A little bit more sound releasing,

From the parts of me that are speaking,

It’s not about just believing,

In a better part of you,

The part meant for keeping,

It’s about finding the reason,

Repeating the problems,

Until hope stops the bleeding,

You can be free,

From all that’s inhibiting,

Your growth and your dreams,

Just follow their lead.


NV. – written on June 27th, 2018 started @ 9:02 a.m. finished @ 9:29 a.m.

No context, feel like this one speaks for itself. – SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

Chimes


Searching,

For the right words,

The right verbs,

And herds of ambition,

Without bringing on superstition.

In my vision,

I still have no beginning,

Haven’t felt like I was winning,

Since the days I was still in,

High school.

For that shit I was too cool,

Guess that’s why I’m not now,

Just another name to be forgot,

Let that happen to me?

I will not.

Can you imagine that though?

No place to call home,

No one blowing up your phone,

No expression to moan,

To somebody,

Just a nobody,

Well,

A taken for granted body,

Embodied by a soul,

With a sense of direction,

That’s has yet to take hold,

I was told,

“You’ll regret those decisions when you’re old.”

That’s gold.

Now I’m beaten,

Battered,

But bold.

Although not yet sold,

On any one path,

I will blast through the aftermath,

As I lay to rest the rest of my breath,

It seems I’m a bit short in fact,

It won’t last,

This panic attack,

It’s not back,

Just relax,

Take a deep,

Dive into another ride through the spirals of your mind,

Wanna get known?

Find the rhymes,

Find the chimes,

Find the…time.

No one has enough,

When we loose one another,

A sister or a brother,

Father or a mother,

All we seem to be able to do is just wonder,

Was I there enough?

Speak to them enough?

Show them that we care?

Enough.

No sad sulking tears,

No,

Not for the loved ones,

But our fears,

As we drown the mounds of our frowns,

And lay to rest the people we miss now,

We may start to hear sounds,

Its them speaking,

Telling us to stop drinking,

Do more thinking,

“You’ll find that beginning.”

I can still hear,

The ones we love and miss so dear,

They feel so near,

Maybe I’m in the wrong gear,

Need to shift,

Perspectives,

I’m invested,

I’ve Ingested,

Many maddening motivations,

Molded by monopolized,

People,

Ones talked about too much.

Maybe I’m too stuck,

On the girl I want to fuck,

And the thoughts I try to duck.

But I’m in luck,

With such a wonderful view,

I’m up to nothing that’s new,

But now this poem is quite…

Through.


NV. – written on June 20th, 2018 started @ 9:57 p.m. finished @ 10:30 p.m.

Just found myself in unable to obtain something truly wanted. Dealing with the fatigue of wonder and regret, not for anything major, but some small decisions that led to an inability to obtain said thing, with is more of an experience than a thing, but that’s irrelevant at this point. Just, take it from me, try to set goals you can obtain, don’t lead yourself into temptations that are inaccessible obligations. It can lead to this thing we call disappointment, I like to think of it as, failure to achieve expectations. But this is where I shall contradict myself, I try to not dwell or let my mind contract any, misleading, sad, obstructing or unsatisfactory feelings, thoughts or emotions. This is almost impossible for anyone of course, but in this case, I’m a bit caught up in mental states I’d rather feel the comfort in being able to overcome, but I can’t. I’m bummed, disappointed and have found a lack of achievement towards an expected experience…this poem is the result of me trying to put that…mindset into words. I suppose besides explaining here, but I don’t think I was aware of all of this until after the poem, funny how expression brings us closer to our problems and solutions…have a nice day. – S.F.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Mad Libs

Residing within our contemplations,

Reminiscing during conversations,

Congregations,

Can’t contain the situations,

Salivating over somber intuition,

While on a conquest towards inhibition,

Are these introverted individual indecision’s?

Maybe convoluted convenient corrections,

Cursing the sadness left behind during madness.

Madness,

Now it’s the last thing on my list,

Madness,

Seems a whole lot like mad libs,

Filling empty spaces with random combinations,

Of funny things to envision.

Now I’m fishing,

For deeper thoughts,

Longer talks,

Sunset walks,

Anything to choke down my faults.

Madness,

It’s about damn time we end this,

Madness,

Don’t know how this happened,

But I’m glad I had it,

Over turned it’s status,

Now our madness,

Is encased within happiness.

NV. – June 16th, 2018 started @ 9:30 p.m. finished @ 9:50 p.m.

You’ve just got to believe in what matters most to you sometimes. All that is meant to be will be and that is beauty at its finest, let the bad be bad, the good be great and participate in anything that makes you feel just as amazing as the feelings you’re searching for. Take care. – SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

A Simple Smile


Then I saw her smile,

Which sent me miles,

In spirals,

Through fantasies,

Hopeless desires,

And mental misfires.

I am so tired,

Of feeling lonely and solely,

Disconnected and truly,

Unable to speak fully,

It’s so damn controlling,

How systematically I’m slowing.

Does she know yet,

How simply her smile,

Consumed me for a while,

Crawled into my head,

Laid around in my mind,

Then bound me to my bed.

She didn’t mean it,

If I hadn’t seen it,

I would still be like this,

Hopelessly searching,

For a way to be missed,

It’s all part of the risk.

The problem with beauty,

At least hers that instills me,

It can take over so soon,

Remind me of the moon,

And almost all tunes,

In my mind she just blooms.

A smile,

That’s all it takes,

For me to try and think of ways,

To say, “Hey”,

“It’s been a while”,

“I really, really like the way you smiled at me the other day.”

“But I really want to know, is everything okay?”


NV. – written on June 1st, 2018 started @ 4:37 p.m. finished @ 5:12 p.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Distracted


Too unsuccessful to make a stand,

Too undefined,

so people laugh.

Uncultured,

Uneducated,

Under appreciated.

Like the future I made up,

Take up,

A bit of space,

in the time that you put on make up,

Think of me,

before you wake up.

Now change up,

To be a little less ridiculous,

I use to be in class,

Sit in back,

Nod my head,

From staying up all night,

Thinking of her and how we use to fight,

It wasn’t right,

But we can’t relive the past,

So why wait for change,

Why live too fast?

It doesn’t change the past.

When all you want is to go back,

Take a chance,

Flip your stance,

But there are too many paths,

To be stuck on that.

What happened to the dreams,

The kind that gave hope to reality,

The kind we could share,

Feel the similarity in the streams,

Of our consciousness,

Is just our connectedness,

That keeps on correcting this,

Path thats so damn distant,

It’s ripped into this system,

Your soul runs wild within it,

It’s kickin,

I wasn’t make to be single,

But when you’re gone I’m not free,

It can’t be said so simply,

But you are just a part of me.

So while you stay absent,

I’ll stay stagnant,

Yours forever,

Not during the instant,

The moments your present,

But always and all day,

It’s just in my instincts.

This is ok,

I’ll say it again and again,

Until the end of my own days.

Yours forever,

This heart won’t change,

Not ever,

It’s the love for you I put into truth,

Using it to change me too,

Just to try and get through,

These times without you.

But I’m yours forever,

Can’t seem to remember,

A day without fearing,

that you might forget,

Just how passionate I planned this,

How damn dedicated I’ve been,

That, I think you’ll get.

If you don’t,

Then it is what it is,

At least I have this,

To exists with you,

Bitch.

You know I still love you,

But it is what it is,

Can’t change how my mind works,

But I can change how this ends.

Find a way to make it blend,

With the beginning,

The bends,

But like before,

It ends on her breath,

Surrounding my neck,

As the thought of her whispers,

Into the depth of my death,

Is it here yet,

The end?

I’m not sure,

But I’m yours forever,

Maybe that’s how this ends?


NV. – written on May 24th, 2018 started @ 3:56 p.m. finished @ 4:18 p.m.

May have started with an introspective, bashing, kinda, I’m not good enough type of mindset. To be honest I was sitting in my outhouse, utilizing its essential purpose. So I started typing, reasons why I may not be where I want to be, then it hit me as the words were flowing that it usually boils down to wanting to be back in that place where love starts to race around, make life all sorts of upside down and flipped around. The kind where you start to think everything is right where it needs to be but then BAMMM, you’re hit with passionate fighting and disagreements while finding reasons to be individuals, I don’t know. We all want heartfelt passion and someone who cares about us unconditionally. But me, I want what she presented, a love like fucking fire, it wasn’t easy, hardly breezy, but at the end of the day I knew there was something to be cherish, not something normal. But a type of relationship where the growing can only happen consciously because the energies are so entwined that you feel when they aren’t happy, you sense when you’re doing them wrong or may be hurting them, that’s learning, unpredictable love. It isn’t perfect, but it was enough. That’s all, I need a break from fantasy, because as you can see. It’s still just me, writing about a girl I can’t seem to make happy anymore. That’s ok, I want her happy, if that means being free, than so be it. But I won’t change my feelings or hide them, that’s unhealthy and that’s just not me. – SF.

P.s. – I don’t mean to write about that part of my life or that part of anyone’s life. But sometimes you just can’t help but let your mind flow. Hope it isn’t too, whiny or whatever, just being me as much as possible. Maybe you like it, maybe it’s annoying, maybe people think I should grow up. Fuck that, you do you and I’ll do me, hopefully, we can each reach each other and find a way to grow and learn from these parts of ourselves. Thanks for being here, thank you for reading and maybe getting a sense of my mind, or parts of it. I hope we can relate and converse someday about it all. Love you humble human beings…and the not so humble ones, we are all in this together.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Rant #2 – with context deal at the end


Terrible timing for the timeline lighting the way towards the dreams we’ve been hiding,
Hide away from the thoughts that are keeping us from shining,
Shine bright through the night as you stay awake without trying,
Try imagining the life that keeps you constantly smiling,

Need a little hope, then turn away from the wrong kind,
Of people and places draining the good parts of your mind,
Theres a message in the passage to the parts that you cant find,
And a way to the goals in this world thats been pre designed.

We can exist with one another and let the moments simply slip by,
Feeling nothing that is wanted but simpley accepting what is felt right,
Living for nothing more than what we experience will be just fine,
Giving in to all that flows and comes to mind in this tickle of time.

We may ramble, stumble or fall into our ideas, goals and dreams,
Talk for fifteen hours straight with nothing to pressure how it seems,
We can figure out something new or realize the past or scream,
But after all is said and done, we can all become everything.


NV. – written sometime between April 15th, 2018 and May 6th, 210 @ 11:20 p.m.

Uhh, not a whole lot to say about this one, it may speak for itself to some, other it might not. Im not sure if it even speaks to me yet, I wrote the dang piece of words and lines. But yet, it seems distant to me, anywho. This is a rant but done with rhymes I suppose, Im no expert in using the English format of communication to express ones internal feelings or thoughts or beings that happen sometimes…uhh but, Id like to say that I do enjoy exsisting with others, letting life flow without paying attention to the way others think it should or shouldn’t. Appreciating and accepting who ever may be gifting me with there presence and thus try to elevate eachother in anyway. Let that be through sit down conversations, walks and talks, musical jam sessions(limited to ones experience and time spent with available instruments), outdoor activities, what im getting at is that your life and my own can be open to anything and everything. We can become, experience and live how ever we’d like and I think thats beautiful. Too long and frequent do we pay our attention to distractions, delusions and drama, when in reality the more you that you are you and the less like others you spend time observing, the more you will find that we are all one in the same, just at different stages, places, and parts of our own story lines. But that doesnt mean we have to oppose one another for those differences, its ok to accept someone for who they are regaurdless of what they seem like. Its tough to do at time but I can assure you that in this context…that little thing will open your life up a bit, allowing you to be what is you seek or see what you dream. Thanks for being here, hope you share a comment or question if you are still here with this train of my conciousness. -SF.


Rants and Thoughts

Snapchat advertisement because why not, lets be friends somehow.



Hey there, just throwing this out there for any fellow snap users that may stumble across this and wanna form some type of connection. My stories are generally pretty random but every now and then some drunken shenanigans are posted, along with other introspective, obscene things like art, thoughts, the ever so self obsessed looking selfies and other various thing that fancy my sense to wanna share the moments. Its snapchat, pretty simple concept to me, but mainly I would enjoy the chance to share and connect with as many people possible. This is another form of opportunity for that and I don’t see any good reason to squander it. Thank you for reading and I hope to see/ talk about life and how we got here with whomever you may be, lets just enjoy some life for a bit together. – SF.