Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

6 feet deep

I watched my sister mourn an ex that over dosed,
My father cry when his own mother croaked,
Watched my mother too when her father died after loosing the woman that he loved the most,
I also lost a sister to epilepsy, that shit is fucked up,
She’s was all alone, found naked in her bath tub.
Before all that I lost an uncle that would change my mom forever,
Loosing her brother first when she thought she’d never,
Ever have to spread his ashes farther than his love had casted.
I’m just reacting to the retracting of my memories.
So many memories of all of those who were meant to be,
Alive right now even though there are no remedies,
For the pain of loss and death that has forsaken me.
Just let me replace the bodies that were taken all too soon,
Let me be the face up in that bright old moon.
Looking down upon all of those who have been hurting too.
Those thinking about the ones they’ve lost,
Thinking about the memories you’ve tried to toss,
While search for a simple way to smile,
Maybe if we fake it our cheeks might hold up a while,
Get us down that god damn road another meaningless mile.
While acting wild and riled up to take a crack at happiness,
But if we’re redirecting our minds away from
death and sadness,
Id rather slip and fall into a pit of madness,
Loose my faith in life and love,
Like a dirty rotten mattress,
With a mistress that’s been laughed at.
Because,
All these deaths are haunting me,
As I think it should be me,
6 feet underneath the dirt below my knees.

SF – written on December 17th, 2018 @ 10 a.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Compulsive Ramblings

Fumbling through empty bags of cereal,
Because I have no meal,
That’s half way real,
It’s surreal.
You might ask,
“What’s the deal?”,
But I’ll conceal,
Hide my identity,
Under lines of poetry,
It’s totally,
A way to roll you see,
Not poverty,
But possibly,
A test of will and greed,
Unstoppably,
Compulsively,
And un-contagiously,
Contracting means,
To understand the rhymes in my meanings.
It’s freeing needs,
But displacing leads,
As its bleeds into my history,
I now believe,
What you think and what do,
Are simply different tunes,
You can say a bunch of shit,
Or create a thing or two,
Its up to you,
Come up with your own rules,
Or follow suit like all the tools,
You better use them too,
Or they’ll grab right on to you,
Then you’re through,
Become beat up,
Used wrong,
Then be twisted,
Flipped,
And screwed,
What’s to loose?
All that you’ve been through?
That’s not true.
You may change a thing or two,
Any who,
No matter what you do,
Never settle,
Never loose,
And never ever end on moo.


NV. – written on July 9th, 2018 started @ 7:27 p.m. finished @ 8:14 p.m. Just rambling. Thanks for any likes, shares, comments or follows. Keeps the people going. – SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Pipe Dreams


I have become molded by mistakes,
misevaluate heartaches,
And mundane smoke breaks,
Find my peace in the moments I take,
From finding passions,
To accepting madness,
How’d this happen?
Can’t blame my mattress,
For all the sleep I’ve been lacking,
Cant fall into my pipe dream,
Roll another joint,
And the bong,
Keep on packing,
That’ll help me,
Got a little stoned,
Now the sounds aren’t so saddening,
Just keep on tapping,
Into the beliefs that will serve thee,
End all the misery please,
It does not help me.
It is the pipe dreams that I set free,
That simply feed the lovely lightning,
Cracking down my splintered spine,
From the demanding depths of my mind,
It just takes time,
This I know,
It’s damn near my human right,
To try and fight the weaker parts of life,
Then take flight,
As I relight my pipe,
Reimagine grief and spite,
Into better insight,
This feels just right,
Tickling the terrors of the night,
So they can no longer take mine,
Building barriers to the breaking,
Banishing,
Berating,
Bullshit brainwashed battering,
Bountifully blasted back,
As we tell the predecessor,
My thoughts,
I will not take those attacks,
No longer will I be the aftermath,
Of a mind that couldn’t take crap,
Or a being that has met his cap,
Need to relax,
Take a toke,
No,
That’s a joke,
Need to tie this mind up,
Choke,
I am broke,
But no longer alone,
Seem to have woke,
From the discussion I wrote,
These aren’t poems,
They are prayers,
They are promises,
Ode to John Denver,
I hope to not stop this,
Gather momentum,
Motivation,
And match this,
Life with the greatest,
The famous,
The ones who made it,
For changes,
For greatness,
For blameless,
Gratification and satisfaction,
That is the situation,
Going to follow these pipe dreams,
Until I find what I need,
In this life that I lead,
I’ll find what I need,
In the depths of my pipe dreams.


NV. – written on July 8th, 2018 started @ 3:22 p.m. finished @ 4:24 p.m.Just a little nonsensical rhyming, please share a like, follow or even share this shit, I’d appreciate it 🙂 – SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

Chimes


Searching,

For the right words,

The right verbs,

And herds of ambition,

Without bringing on superstition.

In my vision,

I still have no beginning,

Haven’t felt like I was winning,

Since the days I was still in,

High school.

For that shit I was too cool,

Guess that’s why I’m not now,

Just another name to be forgot,

Let that happen to me?

I will not.

Can you imagine that though?

No place to call home,

No one blowing up your phone,

No expression to moan,

To somebody,

Just a nobody,

Well,

A taken for granted body,

Embodied by a soul,

With a sense of direction,

That’s has yet to take hold,

I was told,

“You’ll regret those decisions when you’re old.”

That’s gold.

Now I’m beaten,

Battered,

But bold.

Although not yet sold,

On any one path,

I will blast through the aftermath,

As I lay to rest the rest of my breath,

It seems I’m a bit short in fact,

It won’t last,

This panic attack,

It’s not back,

Just relax,

Take a deep,

Dive into another ride through the spirals of your mind,

Wanna get known?

Find the rhymes,

Find the chimes,

Find the…time.

No one has enough,

When we loose one another,

A sister or a brother,

Father or a mother,

All we seem to be able to do is just wonder,

Was I there enough?

Speak to them enough?

Show them that we care?

Enough.

No sad sulking tears,

No,

Not for the loved ones,

But our fears,

As we drown the mounds of our frowns,

And lay to rest the people we miss now,

We may start to hear sounds,

Its them speaking,

Telling us to stop drinking,

Do more thinking,

“You’ll find that beginning.”

I can still hear,

The ones we love and miss so dear,

They feel so near,

Maybe I’m in the wrong gear,

Need to shift,

Perspectives,

I’m invested,

I’ve Ingested,

Many maddening motivations,

Molded by monopolized,

People,

Ones talked about too much.

Maybe I’m too stuck,

On the girl I want to fuck,

And the thoughts I try to duck.

But I’m in luck,

With such a wonderful view,

I’m up to nothing that’s new,

But now this poem is quite…

Through.


NV. – written on June 20th, 2018 started @ 9:57 p.m. finished @ 10:30 p.m.

Just found myself in unable to obtain something truly wanted. Dealing with the fatigue of wonder and regret, not for anything major, but some small decisions that led to an inability to obtain said thing, with is more of an experience than a thing, but that’s irrelevant at this point. Just, take it from me, try to set goals you can obtain, don’t lead yourself into temptations that are inaccessible obligations. It can lead to this thing we call disappointment, I like to think of it as, failure to achieve expectations. But this is where I shall contradict myself, I try to not dwell or let my mind contract any, misleading, sad, obstructing or unsatisfactory feelings, thoughts or emotions. This is almost impossible for anyone of course, but in this case, I’m a bit caught up in mental states I’d rather feel the comfort in being able to overcome, but I can’t. I’m bummed, disappointed and have found a lack of achievement towards an expected experience…this poem is the result of me trying to put that…mindset into words. I suppose besides explaining here, but I don’t think I was aware of all of this until after the poem, funny how expression brings us closer to our problems and solutions…have a nice day. – S.F.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Mad Libs

Residing within our contemplations,

Reminiscing during conversations,

Congregations,

Can’t contain the situations,

Salivating over somber intuition,

While on a conquest towards inhibition,

Are these introverted individual indecision’s?

Maybe convoluted convenient corrections,

Cursing the sadness left behind during madness.

Madness,

Now it’s the last thing on my list,

Madness,

Seems a whole lot like mad libs,

Filling empty spaces with random combinations,

Of funny things to envision.

Now I’m fishing,

For deeper thoughts,

Longer talks,

Sunset walks,

Anything to choke down my faults.

Madness,

It’s about damn time we end this,

Madness,

Don’t know how this happened,

But I’m glad I had it,

Over turned it’s status,

Now our madness,

Is encased within happiness.

NV. – June 16th, 2018 started @ 9:30 p.m. finished @ 9:50 p.m.

You’ve just got to believe in what matters most to you sometimes. All that is meant to be will be and that is beauty at its finest, let the bad be bad, the good be great and participate in anything that makes you feel just as amazing as the feelings you’re searching for. Take care. – SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

A Simple Smile


Then I saw her smile,

Which sent me miles,

In spirals,

Through fantasies,

Hopeless desires,

And mental misfires.

I am so tired,

Of feeling lonely and solely,

Disconnected and truly,

Unable to speak fully,

It’s so damn controlling,

How systematically I’m slowing.

Does she know yet,

How simply her smile,

Consumed me for a while,

Crawled into my head,

Laid around in my mind,

Then bound me to my bed.

She didn’t mean it,

If I hadn’t seen it,

I would still be like this,

Hopelessly searching,

For a way to be missed,

It’s all part of the risk.

The problem with beauty,

At least hers that instills me,

It can take over so soon,

Remind me of the moon,

And almost all tunes,

In my mind she just blooms.

A smile,

That’s all it takes,

For me to try and think of ways,

To say, “Hey”,

“It’s been a while”,

“I really, really like the way you smiled at me the other day.”

“But I really want to know, is everything okay?”


NV. – written on June 1st, 2018 started @ 4:37 p.m. finished @ 5:12 p.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Sweet Violence


While this man sits in silence,

He hears nothing but violence,

Noise in every millisecond,

Noise to fill every memory.

There is nothing silent about sitting in silence.

Birds,

Cars,

Thoughts,

Stars,

So many things to corrupt his connection,

Between focus and distraction,

To finding his reaction,

Trying to sit in silence,

He lends her his ear,

Simply being still for a moment,

And the noise starts to clear,

It bends itself into a song,

So he begins to sing along,

With the silence now so loud,

This man feels proud,

Conquering the corruption,

That silence brings to fear,

Living with the noise,

Was the happiest choice,

No mind to take hold,

No heart to stay cold,

From this now he knows,

That he can roll with the flow,

Of what some may call silence,

Now he calls Sweet Violence.


N.V. – written on May 19th, 2018 started @ 1:03 p.m. finished @ 1:30 p.m.

Have you ever been sitting in the woods trying to read a book and ever time a bird calls, a tree falls or nothing at all, and then you just read a whole page without even paying attention because the beauty in the noise when being still is just overwhelming, to me at least. I couldn’t tell you how many times I have had to re-read pages again and again simply due to being distracted by the world. Some books obviously are to entrancing that they drown out the chaos of the forest song with mental imagery and creation. But sometimes, sommmetimes, the woods are just too good to ignore. That’s what this was about, I am trying to sit and read “The History of Madness” by Michel Foucault and am currently finding these sounds to be something more necessary to give my attention to, other than those post that I am typing. But, to wrap this up, get back to the book and thank you for reading and hopefully enjoying the idea/ poem thing that my mind thought to create. – SF.

P.s. – took the picture on my IPhone X somewhere in Michigan, a little color was added to it, not much else. I wish you could hear what it sounded like during that photo.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Reimagine


Drumming to the madness,

Ridicule my status,

Rip into my grip,

Then seek to greet my sadness.

Fleeting in the meeting,

Where no one else is seeking,

To find a little peace,

Or simplify some meaning.

Towards the end we will gain,

Figure out this new plane,

Try to reimagine,

And settle for absolutely no pain.

So now that we are clear,

Turn you your head and get near,

Open up your time,

And lend me some of your cheer.


NV. – written on May 12th, 2018 started @ 10:17 p.m. finished @ 10:34 p.m.

Sitting in my cabin thing, listening to classical music, have a little tune on. Was reading a bit of “The History of Madness” when some inspiration entered my existence for a moment. This is what transpired, hope you enjoy, as always. Take care now, hope all your daily things are going well and that happiness is fluttering near you always. – SF.

Ps. – The picture was taken by myself on IPhone X, just off to the north of Country Hwy 450 in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, a bit north of M. 28. It was a few miles before the road splits with Fox River Rd. which happens to be a two-track, not a road my friends, this I had not know prior. Either way, my friend commented on the color of the ground cover, so we stopped, took our shoes off and walked a ways into the woods the experience the feel of such soft, pillow like vegetation beneath our feet. Reminded me of a project a lost friend of mine wished to compete one day, a moss garden, such a beautiful idea that I hope translates into reality someday for her. The moss was serene, reminded me of blissful memories and sudden a simplicities in that moment. We also stumbled upon a beautiful river sunken way down in a valley with the dense forests of Northern Michigan, just beyond the pictured moss covered Earth we were bestowed upon. It was a all natural area I would wish anyone to find themselves lost at, with no harmful intentions whatsoever. Thank you 🙂