Poem things, Unfinished songs

Rough “Psycho” cover “Ghost Mode”


I hate this thing called ‘Ghost mode’,
I hate that I just dont know,
How the hell you’re doin’,
And how the hell your feelin’,
Wanna be with you while we’re sleepin’,
Are you even dreamin’,

Are you ok,
Are you fine,
How long do you need this time,
Something about this round just dont feel right,
Wish I could sit with you through the night,
But now I’m loosin all my might,
Wanna turn this whole thing around,
Wanna here you make all those sounds,
But now I’m loosin all my might,
Loosin all my might.

I hate this thing called ‘Ghost mode’,
I hate that I just don’t know,
How the hell you’re doin’,
And how the hell you’re feelin’,
Wanna be with you while we’re sleepin’,
Are you even dreamin’,

I saw you almost everyday for so long,
Now it’s just me and these songs,
Take another toke out of my bong,
Try and live for the moment,
But it feels like im living wrong
I can try and live for the moment,
But without you by my side,
I just wanna hit the rode and ride,
Take all my time,
Find my life,
Make some rhymes,
Maybe bring you back to mine,
Bring you back to mine,

I hate this thing called ‘Ghost mode’,
I hate that I just don’t know,
How the hell you’re doin’,
And how the hell you’re feelin’,
Wanna be with you while we’re sleepin’,
Are you even dreamin’,

I hate this thing called ‘Ghost mode’,
I hate that I just don’t know,
How the hell you’re doin’,
And how the hell you’re feelin’,
Wanna be with you while we’re sleepin’,
Are you even dreamin’,
Wanna just know how you’re feelin’,
How you’re feelin’.


NV. – written on May 8th, 2018 started @ 10:02 a.m. finished @ 10:27 a.m.

Was just listening to some Post Malone this morning and some words hit me. Typed them down and put them here…that is all. Its a rough draft, but I’ll work on this one later like some other ones, for now I will follow my train of thought and enter a new experience for the day. Thank you for viewing the randomness on here, have a nice day who ever you are. – SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

10 Years


I stumble through the pictures of you on my phone,

Never keep them in one folder,

That would be too easy to delete drunk, fuck that,

I want to keep them,

See them whenever I settle for nothing better than what we had together,

Even though you went through hell and back,

Id never bet the stacks I don’t have against the love we once had,

We had the purest kind of love but the kind that you could not stand,

All those feelings you had, the feelings that felt mad,

Not angry, but crazy,

Because we went through shit we should not have,

All of those times where we got sad,

your love was the only fucking that thing I thought that I did have,

I can say that out loud and it makes me a little bit more glad,

I gave up just about every single person that came back,

Into my life when they needed me,

Abandoned them all just to find that we still couldn’t be,

Simply serious for more than a moment between breaths,

I needed your heart when you need my loves rest,

If I ever go back in time you’re damn right I would change paths,

Find a way to make you feel like the girl you wanna be known as,

Not the girl that my definition finds hopeless and broken,

So lost she don’t it know but rather control it she’s left me unknowing,

If we will ever keep growing,

This love hasn’t stopped slowing showing,

Showing submissive similes to try and create some history,

participating in the pondering while pandering about possibly,

Having not hurt you enough for you to attempt to forget about me,

The last thing you said would be,

“I don’t want anything to do with you.”

10 years down the drain, Babe, I guess I can try too.

But fuck these emotions that this part of our path puts us through,

All I wanted was peace,

Now I’m struck with the blues,

Fucking up all of these love songs that I post here for you,

As if my brain is still stuck on you too,

Not only my heart to you has been glued,

She has encapsulated my entire existence,

Not only for in this instance,

But like in our paths,

We love far in the distance.

From distractions deep in the reaction you would give me,

When Id be free for a moment you’d know that I’d be happy and simply,

Content with my friends and then you would hate me instinctively,

Find a text on my phone the next day telling me you will end this completely,

Erase me and our history now have fun while you miss we.

Is this even real, in these feelings that feel as cold as steel,

Like the coat of armor on her heart,

I start to try to peel back the plate,

To expose the parts of her heart that make her great,

It was when she loved hard that she was in the right place,

Get right up in my face when she was feeling fate,

Sweep right under her feet and drag her out the gate,

Of redemptions for the reconnection with resonating reason,

Found deep in the beliefs that being free from me would let her be,

Away from the thoughts and memories of me,

That’s just not how this works.

Even if you forget me first,

I still have every fucking picture of you to quench my thirst,

Do you even think that we will ever learn,

To take back what we’ve earned, look far away and chose to turn away,

From one another, 10 years down the road and no one stands above her,

In my mind, she’s my lover,

For now and ever,

No matter how far,

From one another,

My love will be there,

And just to be fair,

I know that she won’t care.


NV. – written on April 18th-19th, 2018 started on the 18th around 2 a.m. finish on the 19th around 12:00 a.m.

As before, I thank you for being here, supporting, criticizing, viewing, sharing, whatever you may find yourself doing before, during and after reading these blogs. I do appreciate every bit of traffic I am receiving as it definitely makes for motivation to continue in the future. This piece is an unfinished song/ spoken word poetry thing, I have worked on music/ a beat to put behind but find I lack the current skill to find the sound I am looking for. With that said, I am always open to edits, ideas, changes people would think wise, I am here to find criticism, creativity, and collaboration. Feel free to say what you’d like. This was written during and after looking through older photos of a lady I was with for a long time. Someone I am not afraid to say that I still have deep feelings for, I mean, even through pain it is hard to forget someone you shared 10 years with. Although it may seem like a bit of an obsession, these…blogs, the ones about this lady, are just my way of expressing the deeper thoughts about her inside of my head that seem easier to put out there in text, maybe someday songs if everything goes as planned. With that said, I hope that builds a bit of context around this piece and others like it. Thank you for your time here today. Feel free to ask any questions, I am happy to answer. – SF.

Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

My Dear Its True


(Verse 1)
I’ve made mistakes♫ we know♫
Why don’t we take♫ this slow♫
That way we each♫ can grow♫
I just want to reach♫ your soul♫

(Lift)
Why would I lie to you?

(Chorus)
My dear, it’s true♫
There is too much to loose♫
I dont know what to do?♫
I hope you’ll hear this too♫

(Verse 2)
Will you come back♫ to me♫
To get on track♫ you see♫
So that we both♫ can be♫
Again so happy♫ and free♫

(Lft)
I just dont want to hurt you

(Bridge)-x2
I know my demons♫ lie, right next♫ to me,
They make it so♫ hard, to even♫ breathe.
If you could only♫ see, who I’m meant♫ to be.
You might take it all♫back, then we could♫ be free.

(Lift)
I need your love too.

(Chorus)
My dear, it’s true♫
There is too much to loose♫
I dont know what to do♫
I hope you’ll hear this too♫

I just hope you’ll hear me soon♫


NV. – written through July 26th, 2017 started @ 12:30 p.m. finished @ 7:30 p.m.

This is a song I wrote, I do have some uke chords written for it as well, but if someone could help me write music for this I would be extremely greatful! Thank you for viewing!

Poem things, Unfinished songs

See You Soon


Lil peep said it best,

“I would scream your name with my last breath”,
I can’t get over this,
My memories are yours for controlling,
You know why?
Even though I’m not right for us,
I want no one else.

But,
When you love someone that loves you last,
That love falls into the past,
The root of your pain,
I pushed you away
Never knowing what to say.
We were always so complicated,
Missunderstanding and feelings,
Left unknown and unwanted.

I always wanted to help you shine,
When i had to chance to call you mine,
It didnt matter how bad things got,
You made everything feel just right.
Made everything disapear into bliss
Its the person that you are that I miss.
Not the feelings I list.

Will you ever see things the way I do
I couldnt hate you even if I tried,
No matter the problems,
I just want you to share them,
With me, connecting and relating
Even if life gets draining.

I’ll write poem after poem,
Loose myself in piece after piece,
But until you recapture my heart,
My life, it falls apart.
definable by dissapointment,
I dissatisfied you beyond belief.

But now, these words go out to you,
So you know even as I forgot myself,
It was you who kept me here,
Couldn’t leave this life without you near.
For now I’ll just keep tipping this beer,
Ill see you soon or in the end of my years.


NV. – written on April 8th, 2018 started @ 1:37 p.m. finished @ 2:00 p.m.

Poem things

Fleeing


It has always been
You and me

You and me

But at times
I am way to consumed

By myself

At this point
There is nothing that

Helps

You fled so very far
I am sorry

I failed us

Could have tried harder

Harder than you can foresee

But not hard

Not hard enough

She had it
Had my heart

It is still hers
But she no longer

Holds it

She’s trying to forget
All that’s my fault

I feel like fleeing

Fleeing from this
I can no longer

Handle it

The misinterpretations
The breaks

I’m broken

and breaking,

By the separation
Of us

She made me
Turned into

My bliss

Now without her

I’m sick.


NV. Written on April 1st, 2018 started @ 9:45 a.m. finished @ 8:21 p.m.