Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Mad Libs

Residing within our contemplations,

Reminiscing during conversations,

Congregations,

Can’t contain the situations,

Salivating over somber intuition,

While on a conquest towards inhibition,

Are these introverted individual indecision’s?

Maybe convoluted convenient corrections,

Cursing the sadness left behind during madness.

Madness,

Now it’s the last thing on my list,

Madness,

Seems a whole lot like mad libs,

Filling empty spaces with random combinations,

Of funny things to envision.

Now I’m fishing,

For deeper thoughts,

Longer talks,

Sunset walks,

Anything to choke down my faults.

Madness,

It’s about damn time we end this,

Madness,

Don’t know how this happened,

But I’m glad I had it,

Over turned it’s status,

Now our madness,

Is encased within happiness.

NV. – June 16th, 2018 started @ 9:30 p.m. finished @ 9:50 p.m.

You’ve just got to believe in what matters most to you sometimes. All that is meant to be will be and that is beauty at its finest, let the bad be bad, the good be great and participate in anything that makes you feel just as amazing as the feelings you’re searching for. Take care. – SF.

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Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

A Simple Smile


Then I saw her smile,

Which sent me miles,

In spirals,

Through fantasies,

Hopeless desires,

And mental misfires.

I am so tired,

Of feeling lonely and solely,

Disconnected and truly,

Unable to speak fully,

It’s so damn controlling,

How systematically I’m slowing.

Does she know yet,

How simply her smile,

Consumed me for a while,

Crawled into my head,

Laid around in my mind,

Then bound me to my bed.

She didn’t mean it,

If I hadn’t seen it,

I would still be like this,

Hopelessly searching,

For a way to be missed,

It’s all part of the risk.

The problem with beauty,

At least hers that instills me,

It can take over so soon,

Remind me of the moon,

And almost all tunes,

In my mind she just blooms.

A smile,

That’s all it takes,

For me to try and think of ways,

To say, “Hey”,

“It’s been a while”,

“I really, really like the way you smiled at me the other day.”

“But I really want to know, is everything okay?”


NV. – written on June 1st, 2018 started @ 4:37 p.m. finished @ 5:12 p.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Entities


I feel these entities around me,

Simply not only sounding,

Intriguing, but surrounding,

My thoughts and new findings,

While I’m not even trying,

To make contact,

Although they’ve made an impact,

There are some things we can’t take back,

After these beings bring us past,

The perceptions we are left with,

While entering the plane they exist in,

We have a chance to comprehend,

Something un found,

Something from them,

Will you touch ground,

Make peace with their teachings,

Bring a student for their preaching,

Or debate,

The parts of your mind they are breaching,

Would it be wrong to just reach in,

With the knowledge they seem deep in,

Invest in the dreams,

Or the words they begin with,

Take a breathe,

Then just feel them,

It’s over now,

They’ve sang their song,

The entities no longer belong,

In your presence,

Time for severance,

This does makes sense,

That we can all be blessed,

By the gift of a God,

The kind not tied to thought,

The kind not sought,

The kind un fought,

That also seek wrong,

Those kind belong,

The kind in this song,

Those entities belong.


NV. – written on May 29th, 2018 started @ 5:06 p.m. finished @ 5:43 p.m.

Felt some presence while maintaining a brief meditation a bit ago, something powerful. Energetic in a way that it felt as if there was a pressure against my body. This weight or bearing you could say that was surrounding me also felt as if it was changing its position, going from above my shoulders to under my knees, below my feet, under my palms. All over different prominent points of the human body, as if these pressures I was feeling were examinations perhaps. It was a powerful moment, cut short as I was trying to recognize what was going on with consciousness, before being meditative I was more or less letting whatever was happening, just simply happen, no thoughts or directive focus, just being still with life. So by trying to bring an awareness to the emergence or this pressure or feeling so you could say that I was experiencing, I believe to have either bother, disrupted or distracted what ever was seeking interaction. With a sudden sharp pain in my left top central incisor tooth, the big ones in the middle, it all ended, either my connection was broken, that being my focus or calmness. I’m not sure, but before loosing what had happened I began typing above. This was the result, I will continue meditations and if more experience tickle my sense to share things, I’ll do so. In the mean time thanks for reading, don’t be afraid to follow, like or comment, because it’s always helpful and appreciated. Bye now. – S.F.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Distracted


Too unsuccessful to make a stand,

Too undefined,

so people laugh.

Uncultured,

Uneducated,

Under appreciated.

Like the future I made up,

Take up,

A bit of space,

in the time that you put on make up,

Think of me,

before you wake up.

Now change up,

To be a little less ridiculous,

I use to be in class,

Sit in back,

Nod my head,

From staying up all night,

Thinking of her and how we use to fight,

It wasn’t right,

But we can’t relive the past,

So why wait for change,

Why live too fast?

It doesn’t change the past.

When all you want is to go back,

Take a chance,

Flip your stance,

But there are too many paths,

To be stuck on that.

What happened to the dreams,

The kind that gave hope to reality,

The kind we could share,

Feel the similarity in the streams,

Of our consciousness,

Is just our connectedness,

That keeps on correcting this,

Path thats so damn distant,

It’s ripped into this system,

Your soul runs wild within it,

It’s kickin,

I wasn’t make to be single,

But when you’re gone I’m not free,

It can’t be said so simply,

But you are just a part of me.

So while you stay absent,

I’ll stay stagnant,

Yours forever,

Not during the instant,

The moments your present,

But always and all day,

It’s just in my instincts.

This is ok,

I’ll say it again and again,

Until the end of my own days.

Yours forever,

This heart won’t change,

Not ever,

It’s the love for you I put into truth,

Using it to change me too,

Just to try and get through,

These times without you.

But I’m yours forever,

Can’t seem to remember,

A day without fearing,

that you might forget,

Just how passionate I planned this,

How damn dedicated I’ve been,

That, I think you’ll get.

If you don’t,

Then it is what it is,

At least I have this,

To exists with you,

Bitch.

You know I still love you,

But it is what it is,

Can’t change how my mind works,

But I can change how this ends.

Find a way to make it blend,

With the beginning,

The bends,

But like before,

It ends on her breath,

Surrounding my neck,

As the thought of her whispers,

Into the depth of my death,

Is it here yet,

The end?

I’m not sure,

But I’m yours forever,

Maybe that’s how this ends?


NV. – written on May 24th, 2018 started @ 3:56 p.m. finished @ 4:18 p.m.

May have started with an introspective, bashing, kinda, I’m not good enough type of mindset. To be honest I was sitting in my outhouse, utilizing its essential purpose. So I started typing, reasons why I may not be where I want to be, then it hit me as the words were flowing that it usually boils down to wanting to be back in that place where love starts to race around, make life all sorts of upside down and flipped around. The kind where you start to think everything is right where it needs to be but then BAMMM, you’re hit with passionate fighting and disagreements while finding reasons to be individuals, I don’t know. We all want heartfelt passion and someone who cares about us unconditionally. But me, I want what she presented, a love like fucking fire, it wasn’t easy, hardly breezy, but at the end of the day I knew there was something to be cherish, not something normal. But a type of relationship where the growing can only happen consciously because the energies are so entwined that you feel when they aren’t happy, you sense when you’re doing them wrong or may be hurting them, that’s learning, unpredictable love. It isn’t perfect, but it was enough. That’s all, I need a break from fantasy, because as you can see. It’s still just me, writing about a girl I can’t seem to make happy anymore. That’s ok, I want her happy, if that means being free, than so be it. But I won’t change my feelings or hide them, that’s unhealthy and that’s just not me. – SF.

P.s. – I don’t mean to write about that part of my life or that part of anyone’s life. But sometimes you just can’t help but let your mind flow. Hope it isn’t too, whiny or whatever, just being me as much as possible. Maybe you like it, maybe it’s annoying, maybe people think I should grow up. Fuck that, you do you and I’ll do me, hopefully, we can each reach each other and find a way to grow and learn from these parts of ourselves. Thanks for being here, thank you for reading and maybe getting a sense of my mind, or parts of it. I hope we can relate and converse someday about it all. Love you humble human beings…and the not so humble ones, we are all in this together.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

Mending


Broke my body,
so I mend my head,
exersise the things inside my mind that make me glad,
Reveal unknown truths about you and I,
Turn around the feelings we feel right now,
Feel alive for the moment and sit back down,
Calm your thoughts and complications,
Disassociate the distractions,
While reacting to the actions,
Of a master of being plastered,
Im a dissaster,
or maybe just too revealing of what I think,
Let that sink in,
That insecurity of wheather I should say this or if someone else has said it better,
Forget it, let it go for the moment that you’re owning,
Loose control when the world has you whirling,
Winding around a wheel of emotional impressions,
And the interpretations of the people present with the sessions,
Discussing what is known and what is not for the sake of instructions,
To instruct another with the wonder we’re all blessed with,
Connect with your connections and create a new consciousness,
Never limit one another by the definitions that we’re dressed in,
Now meditate for the sake of seeking grace or some greetings,
From the deepest parts of you and the way you think the world is,
Find answers to things you didnt know you were asking,
And reacting with passion and positivity while you just keep on basking,
Flow with the rhythm that keeps the memories drifting,
Allow for new thoughts and new things to start shifting
Somber seductions of your own mind will guide you through the process,
Releaving all of your problems,
Leaving you entraced in the nonsense.
make some sense of the things that we may sense,
To interpret our reality and change it without formality
Forming functions better than bad habits and duality,
But through this discussion we can assume reprecution,
I’ll amend with the systems when I want to try and function.
Fun things are found more frequent now than ever before,
Lifes doors have opened for new people and places,
This is true for any being that seeks that same truth,
Trust when I say this can happen for you.


NV. – written on May 7th, 2018 started @ 12:06 a.m. finished @ 12:46 a.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Unfinished songs

Rant #1


This World is fucking terrifying,
It terrifies me,
The terror tearing through the broken streets,
Broken dreams and hopeless needs,
Hopelessly hoping we
Happen to,
Find some peace.
In a World this fucked up and fearful,
Get an earful of a lust filled,
Feeling that must spill,
Into the lines when I’m seeing the signs,
Signed by demons that find time,
Into my right mind and my left mind,
Gotta split this brain into two just to think fine.
Do i seem fine?
Fine, tell me, is it the stress lines?
No?
It’s this World right?
We humans can’t get this world right tight together,
We miss the point of being remembered,
Do you remember?
The last time people on this planet could stand it?
Cant begin to imagine a place where their passion,
Is issued like texts books instead of a fashion,
Fashioned ways of teaching, reaching out to children,
Seeming to forget what it means to find meaning,
In life, you get one shot, Eminem said it best,
One openly oppressed opportunity to give workin a rest.
See, this started with worldly issues, now im searchin for a tissue,
My situation isnt changing, im sustaining.
Gaining knowledge everyday like the books are fucking raining.
This is lame see,
I’m making a damn fool of myself,
You wanna see whats on my shelf?
Not gold bars or platinum stars, no.
Shit written about stars,
The people and planets, all forms of philosophy,
And shit you cant manage,
I can manage to manipulate my words with written burns
Verbally abusing the right read my shit out loud to say
“Hey, Your story is preat great”
But if you can’t participate is something really fuckin great,
Then wait,
Determine your future in the future, cause future you will know a thing or two.
A thing more than you think you do,
One day you will know this too,
At that point you will sing this through.
Singing,
“This World is fucking terrifying”
“It terrif…”…”no, this world is freaking true.”
Dark at time when there seems to be no rules,
Written to tell what to do,
Next, but then, anxiety takes over, fucks you up,
Has you tucked up, under the covers searching for mother.
You start to feel smothered by the World that gives wonder,
To the times when the sounds outside seem like thunder,
Thundering down lightning to my mind to create cracks,
And crevices creeping through my memories.
But the sounds are not there,
its this World that you fear,
When the demons get near,
You start to forget your cheer and exsist with your tears.
Tearing streams down your face fast paced,
Like if you stop all the crying youd be lieing,
When inside it feels like your dieing.
Im sorry, things always take this dark turn,
I dont know why,
If I think and try to learn,
It will be me who will cry.
I’m just a regular guy,
But when I look to the sky, I see my future arise,
As high as the sun rise when the moon dies.
And in a World that seems like it wont try,
I guess I’ll just give it some time.


NV. – written on April 24th, 2018 started @ 2:33 a.m. finished @ 3:06 a.m.

Just for context, I had no idea where this was going, not when I started or when I finished. Kind of cut it off at the end a bit, usually I have no idea when to end most of the stuff I post on this site, so I just force it at times. Seems like if I let some thoughts flow they would go on forever, finding the right words once typed out in front of my weird wondering brain conceiving them, mmm. Anywho, just a randome collection of word up above, sounded good to my mind as I typed them out. Thanks for all the support and have a grand ole everyday.

SF.

Poem things, Unfinished songs

Shame


“Blaze it up 420”, yeah say it loud,
Why do we say these things like we are proud?
Is it the so called culture appropriated lies,
Or just another attempt to get between some thighs?

I dont know, why should I care.
Im one in the same,
Full of feelings that I wanna express,
And I live with my shame.

I said I dont know, why should you care,
You are one in the same,
Do you have feelings that you wanna express?
Do you live with your shame?

Will you ask, what is this life all about,
Have you thought about it now?
Should we be the person that we see,
Or be the one we wanna be?

I dont know, why should I care.
Im one in the same,
Full of feelings that I wanna express,
And I live with my shame.

I said I dont know, why should you care,
You are one in the same,
Do you have feelings that you wanna express?
Do you live with your shame?

Grow a mustache just for fun,
Curl it up to be someone,
Have your hair up in a bun,
It doesnt matter how you run.
This is your life,
And its time I think you won.

Now, who are we, who are you,
Tell me what you wanna do,
Will you turn this life around,
Find a way to make you found?

I dont know, why should I care.
Im one in the same,
Full of feelings that I wanna express,
And I live with my shame.

I say we dont know, why should we care,
We are one in the same,
We have feelings that we wanna express.
Yeah, we live with our shame.
I said, we all wanna express,
And we live with our shame.
I just wanna express,
That I live with my shame.


NV. – writen on April 24th, 2018 started @ 12:13 a.m. finished @ 1:12 a.m.

I’d lile to say thank you to all the viewing and liking to my post, it brings me to joy thinking that someone out there may feel connected or correlated to what I express here in any way. I’d shout out the ones who inspire me to write, but don’t want to come of a cliché or un cultured. The inspiration I feel comes from so many artist, known and unknown, different forms of art and life. I wish to experience all walks, ways and wonders of the world by the end of my path on this planet and wish through the expression now and many forms to come in the future, will help me connect with thos many walks. Thank you, feel free to comment, share, share a follow for follow maybe, jus be yourself, thats what is most important, no matter how you that you need to be, never be someone else, take care now.

-SF.