Poem things

Creating

2:38 pm

Why does it feel like I am dying,
In the times that I’m not writing,
Drawing,
Building,
Dreaming,
If I’m not Fulfilling,
This tension that sets my intentions.
My broken and beaten body,
Will have to guide me,
My mind,
My life,
My time,
Is not being used right,
As I wander through aimless ponders.
This pain that always grows,
Will have to wait to know,
This grief,
This belief,
This relief,
This is exsisting as an excruciating need,
Because as I fail to bring you new creations,
I find failure in the death of all my damnations.

S.F. _ 05/24/2021 _ 2:53 pm

Poem things

Split

1:15 am

Why does my mind seem seemingly split,
At this point I will just accept this bit,
There’s nowhere to belong,
No goal to livelong,
As I try not to forget myself,
I hope I can be quite headstrong.

And my mind is usually using risk,
Its about time that I make peace with this,
Whenever I’m gone,
Or expressing all wrong,
I will be right beside you,
Like I’ve been all along.

But I feel my mind loosely loosing grip,
By now I should be fine with it,
No matter how long,
How independently strong,
My motivations all end,
Like the last beat of a song.

S.F. – 05_25_2021 – 1:40 am

Poem things

Learning

8:15 pm

I’ve been binge drinking,
Willfully,
Unwisely,
Its unlikely,
That I’ll end this pattern nicely.

My time is most spent thinking,
Deeply,
Increasingly,
Creating more and more,
Neurological connections kindly.

I often seek the epitome of greatness,
Nervously,
Mistakenly,
Most definitely with a will,
That will always guide me corectly.

8:34 pm – S.F. – 05/15/2021

Poem things

Forget Me

I haven’t been the best to myself,

It’s been rough since you left,

Scorn decisions,

Poor resistance,

Torn persistence,

More constrictions,

Have me barley breathing baby,

You dance through my dreams daily,

Frolicking through this rotting reality,

But not even you could save me,

And if you haven’t already,

You’ll soon forget me.

So I’ll write you these confessions,

Try to take loosing you as a lesson,

Even if it’s just my mind melting,

All the little lies remembering,

There’s no more time to recover,

No more ways I can love her.

So I’ll remember what I can,

Rebuild this man that I am,

Seek a greater purpose,

Leave this mentality with a circus,

Turn these motives into bliss,

Remind myself that it’s not only you I miss.

Because…

I haven’t been the best to myself,

It’s been rough since you left,

Scorn decisions,

Poor resistance,

Torn persistence,

More constrictions,

Have me barley breathing baby,

You dance through my dreams daily,

Frolicking through this rotting reality,

But not even you could save me,

And if you haven’t already,

You’ll soon forget me.

Because…

I haven’t been the best to myself,

It’s been rough since you left,

Scorn decisions,

Poor resistance,

Torn persistence,

More constrictions,

Have me barley breathing baby,

You dance through my dreams daily,

Frolicking through this rotting reality,

But not even you could save me,

And if you haven’t already,

You’ll soon forget me.


S.F. – 07/23/2020 – 2:15 a.m.

Poem things

Unintended Pain

Your heart wasn’t worth breaking,

If I’m not mistaken,

I played and I changed and I stayed,

And I made as much as I could,

To withstand all that we should,

But I failed and I failed and I failed.

To commit to the consequences,

To believe in things that mattered,

Rather I continued to dismantle,

Ever foundation that had their chances,

To withstand the demand,

Of my poor choices,

Turned out I turned our feelings into noises.

I’m sorry for never knowing what was next,

Making moments turn to demons,

And letting my ignorance be at its best.

I never meant to break your heart,

I never meant to fail right from the start,

The pain you still likely feel is as real,

As every emotion that I still try to kill.

I’m consumed by the fact that I will,

Forever and always just be this moment,

That you never should have had to feel.

My intentions were faltered,

I can’t blame it on age,

Inexperience,

Lack of understanding,

Or rage.

I need to accept that it was my simple ways,

Inability to read you and help your bad days.

On top of the changes that I should have made.

At this point it’s worthless,

To apologize or wait,

For retribution,

Confusion,

Or a chance to close space.

Just know that I never meant to,

Cause you this pain.

SF- 1-14-19

Poem things

Gasping


My heart keeps beating,

But no longer for me,

It beats for all of thee,

People who say my death,

Would cause them misery.

I live for the need,

Of feeling what I hope to be,

Is closer than the horrors in my history,

I’m afraid I am no longer free,

I’m held down by my roots,

That extend down from my family tree,

I have no “Me”,

Just a visionary’s sculpture,

Of what they can see,

A creation for someone else’s glee.

Like I’m living but not alive,

So far away from life,

That I forgot what it’s like,

To be motivated,

Concentrated,

Or meditative,

But yet I’d say it’s just complicated,

I can not take this,

No longer for no reason,

I have to keep on believing,

That by keeping on,

I can keep on dreaming,

That this pain won’t last,

And this change will pass,

I can master my bad habits,

Then change my path,

After all it’s but a matter of fact,

By staying conscious for them,

I can feel freedom again,

Maybe enjoy some friends,

Or create new ends,

By the end of this poem,

Maybe this pain will mend.


NV. – written on September 17th, 2018

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Pipe Dreams


I have become molded by mistakes,
misevaluate heartaches,
And mundane smoke breaks,
Find my peace in the moments I take,
From finding passions,
To accepting madness,
How’d this happen?
Can’t blame my mattress,
For all the sleep I’ve been lacking,
Cant fall into my pipe dream,
Roll another joint,
And the bong,
Keep on packing,
That’ll help me,
Got a little stoned,
Now the sounds aren’t so saddening,
Just keep on tapping,
Into the beliefs that will serve thee,
End all the misery please,
It does not help me.
It is the pipe dreams that I set free,
That simply feed the lovely lightning,
Cracking down my splintered spine,
From the demanding depths of my mind,
It just takes time,
This I know,
It’s damn near my human right,
To try and fight the weaker parts of life,
Then take flight,
As I relight my pipe,
Reimagine grief and spite,
Into better insight,
This feels just right,
Tickling the terrors of the night,
So they can no longer take mine,
Building barriers to the breaking,
Banishing,
Berating,
Bullshit brainwashed battering,
Bountifully blasted back,
As we tell the predecessor,
My thoughts,
I will not take those attacks,
No longer will I be the aftermath,
Of a mind that couldn’t take crap,
Or a being that has met his cap,
Need to relax,
Take a toke,
No,
That’s a joke,
Need to tie this mind up,
Choke,
I am broke,
But no longer alone,
Seem to have woke,
From the discussion I wrote,
These aren’t poems,
They are prayers,
They are promises,
Ode to John Denver,
I hope to not stop this,
Gather momentum,
Motivation,
And match this,
Life with the greatest,
The famous,
The ones who made it,
For changes,
For greatness,
For blameless,
Gratification and satisfaction,
That is the situation,
Going to follow these pipe dreams,
Until I find what I need,
In this life that I lead,
I’ll find what I need,
In the depths of my pipe dreams.


NV. – written on July 8th, 2018 started @ 3:22 p.m. finished @ 4:24 p.m.Just a little nonsensical rhyming, please share a like, follow or even share this shit, I’d appreciate it 🙂 – SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts, Uncategorized

Words #1 (basically unnamed)


This crazy taming of my name,

Reliving cycles as they claim,

Territories in my brain,

Causing me to take some shots,

While no one else is in the game.

This isn’t about the way that we are made,

It’s about the way we make our change,

The way we seek to make our gains,

Everybody’s a little different,

Yet we’re from the same damn place.

Systematically separating social situations,

Tormented tones touch tiny intimidation’s,

Reading right around rambling renovations,

Leads long lost lethargic ill logic,

Back bounding bravely beyond bitter intentions.

Let’s make sense of less pretentious power,

While bleeding dreams into flowers,

Seeking grace and simplicity isn’t sour,

As you learn to find yourself,

Then make use of every hour.


NV. – written on June 19th, 2018 started @ 3:25 p.m. finished @ 3:49 p.m.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Mad Libs

Residing within our contemplations,

Reminiscing during conversations,

Congregations,

Can’t contain the situations,

Salivating over somber intuition,

While on a conquest towards inhibition,

Are these introverted individual indecision’s?

Maybe convoluted convenient corrections,

Cursing the sadness left behind during madness.

Madness,

Now it’s the last thing on my list,

Madness,

Seems a whole lot like mad libs,

Filling empty spaces with random combinations,

Of funny things to envision.

Now I’m fishing,

For deeper thoughts,

Longer talks,

Sunset walks,

Anything to choke down my faults.

Madness,

It’s about damn time we end this,

Madness,

Don’t know how this happened,

But I’m glad I had it,

Over turned it’s status,

Now our madness,

Is encased within happiness.

NV. – June 16th, 2018 started @ 9:30 p.m. finished @ 9:50 p.m.

You’ve just got to believe in what matters most to you sometimes. All that is meant to be will be and that is beauty at its finest, let the bad be bad, the good be great and participate in anything that makes you feel just as amazing as the feelings you’re searching for. Take care. – SF.

Poem things, Rants and Thoughts

Thank You


How does one apologize,

For taking away all your time,

Keeping you up all those nights,

Making you think of all the lies,

It wasn’t right.

It wasn’t okay,

I just wasn’t in a good place,

Then I brought you down,

Dragged you with me,

To those places I never wanted to be.

Lonely and limiting,

Lifeless and diminishing,

It wasn’t right,

It wasn’t okay,

So how do I find a way to say,

Thank you for every single day,

That you found a way to stay,

By my side,

Even during times I wasn’t payed.

But it wasn’t right,

I always thought you were okay,

Not empty, sad and taking a tole,

My focus had left our souls,

Where was I to support your goals,

When I was gaming for days,

With no life or no role,

You needed me then,

And all I did was just fold.

But thank you,

For every second of patience,

Every moment of stasis,

Going back through the bases,

Helping me re-tie my laces,

In life,

I wasn’t right,

But you were the one who,

Made it livable during that time.

I should have been there for you,

Not consumed with my gloom,

Never should have stayed in that room,

With all we’d been through.

Is that true?

Without that sequence,

I could not create this,

Could not foresee how to resist,

The parts of us that should not exist,

Then turn back around,

To rewrite this for bliss.

It wasn’t right,

It wasn’t okay.

But,

Know that I thank you,

You are my saving grace.

You saved me from that place,

Saved me from those ways,

As you taught me how to change,

How to live with space,

For that I thank you.

I hope you learned something too.

If so,

I’d love to hear it real soon.


NV. – written on May 30th, 2018 started @ 8:27 p.m. finished @ 9:15 p.m.

You know when you can’t find the right words for so many things, things left unsaid, unknown or unexcused. A way to say not sorry, hardly any “sorry” is very effective. But when you want to say thank you to someone for dealing with a very low energy, low vibration version of yourself, all during a time when that individual needed support and care more than the other. Sometimes there are no words for those moments, those memories. Many times we are left to bury those parts of our lives as we are seldom to find people to truly communicate these feelings with or to. We hurt people in life often when we least know it, when we were are so very focused on what we have at hand. Taking for granted to love, comfort, company and opportunity for connection that special someone is offering. We may not all experience this from either end. But if you do, know people can change or at least at some point, recognize those poor choices from a new angle, one unblinded by lack of perception, experience or corruption of motivations. We all have so many things to attend to at times, just never forget to attend to the person loving you the most. Because when you loose that person, you loose every opportunity for both life and love, but also every chance to make things right, to appreciate the sacrifices they make for you during rough times. You loose everything from with them, whether you can recognize every aspect or not. You will someday. So cherish that loved one, don’t forget what they do for you or how much they care. I’d hate anyone to feel the pain from that kind of loss. Thanks for reading, I wish love upon all of you. We all need a bit of it. – SF.