Your heart wasn’t worth breaking,
If I’m not mistaken,
I played and I changed and I stayed,
And I made as much as I could,
To withstand all that we should,
But I failed and I failed and I failed.
To commit to the consequences,
To believe in things that mattered,
Rather I continued to dismantle,
Ever foundation that had their chances,
To withstand the demand,
Of my poor choices,
Turned out I turned our feelings into noises.
I’m sorry for never knowing what was next,
Making moments turn to demons,
And letting my ignorance be at its best.
I never meant to break your heart,
I never meant to fail right from the start,
The pain you still likely feel is as real,
As every emotion that I still try to kill.
I’m consumed by the fact that I will,
Forever and always just be this moment,
That you never should have had to feel.
My intentions were faltered,
I can’t blame it on age,
Inexperience,
Lack of understanding,
Or rage.
I need to accept that it was my simple ways,
Inability to read you and help your bad days.
On top of the changes that I should have made.
At this point it’s worthless,
To apologize or wait,
For retribution,
Confusion,
Or a chance to close space.
Just know that I never meant to,
Cause you this pain.
SF- 1-14-19
Reblogged this on Commentary, Outrages, Prose and commented:
I have swum this ocean too many times.
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